#Doppelhaus-Hälfte,
etwas handwerkliches Geschick erforderlich,
mit Fenster mit schöner #Aussicht...
#ArbeitenWoAndereUrlaubMachen
#Haus #house #Ruine #Abriss #deconstruction #view #abendstimmung #Licht #Sonnenuntergang #dusk #Dämmerung #twilight #light #sunset
I'm still sorting out what my missing of the time I first joined social media is about. Watching how it has become all the things socializing in person (especially in groups) required that drains me, has me asking what I need to create and find again to close the loop my brain has been on for years.
I'm curious if not knowing I was autistic meant being perceived as others see me didn't happen, so I simply shared what I thought and felt happy for self expression? Did I not wait for recognition that my thoughts were understood or valued?
Or was it just that I then belonged to a high control/demand religion, was existing in a codependent, high-masking way, so my environment reinforced my compliance, reinforced my conditioned idea of myself that was then built on what I now see as a whyte-supremacist-Christian identity? So my ignorance of how arrogant my community was, how ethnocentric and homogeneous my interactions were meant I just saw what my limited worldview contained at the time, reflected back to me?
Is this why I've never felt the sense of belonging, the feeling of connectedness, the sense of safety I once believed I had again over the 9.5 years since my faith deconstruction journey?
It would definitely explain why adding a late diagnosis of #AuDHD and talking or listening to other neurodivergent people online didn't mean the return of the same womblike shelter my nervous system had come to expect prior to leaving church, faith groups, organized religion etc.
You'd think that 9.5 years would be plenty enough to redesign my understanding of how the world, life, people, connections form. And moving out of Christian Nationslist conversations and church meetings and attending gradschool for social work, doing reflexive work, 'the critical,
real-time examination of how a
person's own biases,
assumptions, and identity shape
their actions, decisions, and
relationships,' reading anti-racist books, listening to Black voices, Disability Justice authors and creators I'd have amplified my previously existing love of humanity.
When I first left religion I sounded like most every other newly deconstructing person stating chucking religion helped them love all people better. And for a time it really did.
But finding my way from 2016 into 2026, I'm now purposely disengaged from deconstruction social media spaces, and even neurodivergent and specifically ADHD/Autistic spaces don't bring that rooted, grounded, welcomed and held feeling I've realized I still miss.
I don't want that feeling in the form of exclusion, us vs them, superiority complexes. I may share values of justice and dignity and wellbeing for all, but my nervous system cannot produce energy for hours and days and weeks and months and years of rage and resistance. And right now, the voices who are speaking out all the time are the only voices that signal to my spiritual trauma and autistic trauma that they intend to not talk or connect in the old Christian Nationslist way... but it feels the same to my body.
Before I woke up to my religion's exceptionalim, I truly believed I had only love for all people, I saw us all as an eternal family needing reconciliation and reunification. I saw myself as part of a loving plan to bring everyone home.
I don't know how to engage socially without masking some part of myself anymore. But can only do it at work and then I collapse and scroll, searching for spaces that feel loving, spaces that feel welcoming but not like religious lovebombing felt.
I seem to only see glimpses in one person, in one post in the moment. But we never cross paths beyond a reaction or reply in that moment. I wanted to slowly heal from my burnout to get enough energy for doing more than the once a month in person outings outside my family I live with. It doesn't seem in today's world of war, corruption, crapitalism (not a typo), and panic driven desperation, that my desire for such safety and belonging outside my own home, will happen again.
🧵 to be contined. (1)
#audhd #autistic #recoveryfromreligion #deconstruction #recovery #autisticburnout #christiannationalism #unitymovement
@autistics
As a person with very severe PTSD, I'm really happy that I think so idiosyncratically about things and don't just swallow whatever drivel passes for social justice on TikTok.
It was so easy for me to fall prey to monstrous, inhuman people. For nearly two decades, I was stuck and unable to escape the folks that unmade me.
Fortunately, I've since realized these people also tend to be deeply regressive and opinionated in the same way evangelical Christians are. And no matter how much they claim to support your "kind," that support evaporates the second you try to say that what they're doing isn't helpful.
I'm safer for their rejection. I have wonderful people around me now, and I can tell because "advocates of disabled people" have stopped attacking disabled people, which means only the real advocates of disabled people remain.
Thank you for seeing us.
#PTSD #CPTSD #TraumaRecovery #CriticalThinking #CognitiveLiberty #LateralViolence #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #IdiosyncraticThinking #BoundarySetting #SocialCritique #Survival #Deconstruction
How much of what Christians claim to believe do they really believe?
"Voter rolls and original ballots stolen.Why was the director of National Intelligence there?????"
#deconstruction #exvangelical #currentevents #news #TulsiGabbard #dni #VoterRolls #Midterms #ballots #MonteMader #FBI #shorts #FBIraid
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/jlKz-_-k1ts
"There’s a reason that they are trying to put turning point USA chapters in every high school.
They're also trying for every college in the country. And it’s the same reason that the Clock app doesn’t mind shutting down some of its biggest creators and losing millions of followers. Because the adults in the room are not their target."
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/EHAgiwzkcDk
#deconstruction #exvangelical #currentevents #news
#MonteMader #tiktok #turningpoint #hitleryouth #ChristianNationalism #larryEllison
#Perfect #humanism #atheism #deconstruction makes philosophers, #mentalhealth #exvangelical #Easter #holyweek makes heroes, Let makes sages.
#sinful #bornagain #newlife #helovesus makes philosophers, #Perfect #humanism #atheism #deconstruction makes heroes, Ceredo makes sages.
Up Front / Twitch / Deconstruction
Bands Up Front Twitch Deconstruction Venue - Sgt. Pepperoni’s - 1504 W. Michigan in Kalamazoo - Thursday, August 29 - 9:00 p.m. - $4 - All ages - No alcohol - More info: Hole in the Wall Records 388-9912
The same people who taught me “Jesus Loves the Little Children” are cheering on ICE. Make it make sense. 🤷🏻♀️💔 #deconstruction #religioustrauma #therapist
Jan 26, 2026 #deconstruction #exvangelical #currentevents
I took a small breather yesterday and I’m ready to bust my ass to get you I for as it unfolds
#MonteMader
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJxldSc9aLc
God and the Church are not synonyms.
It is possible to walk away from a toxic institution without walking away from your faith. Don't let the flaws of people ruin your connection to the Divine. Healing begins when you separate the two.
Watch here: https://youtu.be/84IgPOhH8js
#ReligiousTrauma #Deconstruction #ChurchHurt #SpiritualHealth #healing
"What do we do in the system where the rules no longer apply?" I asked #jbpritzker all the above, we organize, we protest, we fight, we vote, we call, we care for our people, we refuse to cave, we learn how to defend ourselves.
#MonteMader
#deconstruction #exvangelical #currentevents #news #chicago #illinois #dhs #ice #cbp #nazis #goons #knowyourrights
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hLA0qRN7l8g
I don't talk about my #deconstruction often, mostly because it's nobody's business, but also because I don't really love that term.
But in the process of decolonizing (or trying to decolonize) my world model from Empire-Christian dogmas, I've hunted around for alternatives in our culture, and I've found disturbingly few that don't simply grant the premises of Empire-Christianity.
In Episode 67, Bill and Jumelle speak with Rev Heather Foy about her upcoming podcast, The Awakening, focusing on stories of religious trauma and recovery.
Subscribe, download and listen today! https://linktr.ee/bwabits
#evangelical #exvangelical #deconstruction #atheism #religioustrauma #recovery #podcast
Deconstructing the LuaJIT Pseudo Memory Leak
https://blog.openresty.com/en/luajit-plus/
#HackerNews #LuaJIT #Deconstruction #PseudoMemoryLeak #Programming #BlogTech
for Flandry of Terra by Poul Anderson, Michael Whelan
Clear and cold here so I noticed this. I was noticing my thoughts interacting with this and whether or not I wanted to be associated with putting it up on my Mastodon page. Like, they seem like they're on the same side, a good team, she isn't a damsel in distress, she has a gun and is ready to fight. He seems older than she is, why is the man always older, why shouldn't she be older? Well, maybe she dyes her hair. Maybe she's had "work done". At least they seem to be equals. Maybe it's his daughter. Maybe she's a witch or an alien. Well, what if they're happy together? Why shouldn't he be older and she younger? Who am I to judge? Who are you to judge me for appreciating this art? Seems like he's got his gun up as a signal. A signal to whom? Hey, we're over here! We've got meanies on our six! At least the floating orb monsters are clearly bad guys, they aren't "savages" or some other sort of veiled reference to some kind of European superiority (other than the fact that both of them seem to be of European descent) (but then, if one of them were black or brown, would that be better? Would that be a virtue signaling thing?). Why does it always have to be war? Why are they fighting? Why can't they try to make peace? What if the aliens are defending their homeland from human greed or toxic cultural influence?
So yeah, that's what happens in my head. I am either woke or neurotic or both. 🤣 I read books and I think about things. But it's cold and clear here today. lol ✨ ✨ ✨
#art #tldr #deconstruction #reconstruction #scifiart #snow #cold #clear #sun #fantasy #love #equality #diversity #hope #cooperation #sexy
