“He sure is a Man of Steel!”
“Bro”
Super Bat
Just a couple of supers having the time of their lives.
“Hey, Tony! Is it true that Bruce forgave you for calling him a batshit vigilante?”
“Oh yeah. He sure did.”
“Awesome!”
“Not so much.”
“…”
“Wayne Enterprises owns 51% of the Stark Industries stock. I must call Bruce, ‘His Lordship the Dark Knight’ from now on.”
“Clark, do you really forgive Lex for kidnapping Lois?”
“Oh yeah. I even gave him a friendly hug, Bruce.”
“How friendly?”
“He’ll be in traction for a few months.”
“Clark?”
“Yeah, Bruce?”
“Did you see that actor who used to portray you is now a bad guy?”
“Good thing for him, we’re fictional characters”
“True dat.”
“Bruce?”
“Yes, Diana?”
“What’s that you’re wearing?”
“It’s my new nanoweave suit”
“…”
“What?”
“N-n-nothing. If anyone asks for me, I’ll be taking a cold shower”
“Bruce?”
“Yeah, Clark?”
“Is that your new WayneTech nano weave suit?”
“Like it?”
“Uhm … where’s all the armor and padding?”
“Don’t need it. The nanoweave is more than enough. Why do you ask?”
“Uhm … you look … hot … like super hot.”
“Thanks”
“Bruce?”
“Yes, Clark?”
“Did you give Barry Ritalin?”
“What makes you say that?”
“He’s been hyperfocused into reorganizing the library for hours”
“And?”
“Why didn’t you do it sooner?”
“Clark?”
“Yeah, Bruce?”
“Like the new suit I made you with WayneTech resources?”
“Uhm … yeah”
“…”
“I mean, it works great and is super comfortable …”
“But?”
“It looks like it’s painted on, and Lois keeps fainting when she sees me wearing it.”
“Good”
“Good?”
“Yup”
@Chip_Unicorn only if you want to be thrown into the trans-dimensional rift he creates …
[Justice League Watchtower]
Bruce: What’s the rule?
Everyone else:
Bruce: WHAT. IS. THE. RULE?
Everyone else: We don’t give Barry caffeine
Bruce: WHAT?
Everyone else: We don’t give Barry caffeine
[Batman hanging from the ceiling of Joker’s lair]
Joker: Hello Batsy! Miss me much?
Batman:
Joker: Cat got your tongue?
Batman:
Joker: Seriously, Bats … Nothing?
[The REAL Batman pops out of the shadows and captures the Joker]
Joker: WHAT IS THIS?
[The captured Batman dismounts. It’s Nightwing]
Joker: I should have known! Batsy’s glutes aren’t as hot as yours!
[The Watchtower]
Barry: Look! It’s Broody MacBroodington!
*** Clark laughs ***
*** Bruce glares ***
Barry: uhm? Sorry?
*** Clark grabs Bruce’s hand ***
Clark: No tranq
Bruce: FINE
Lex: I got you now, Kal-El! Next: World Domination!
Superman: Bro … Bro
Lex: What?
Superman: You never win!
Batman: He’s like a really dumb Sysiphus
Lex: Batman?
*** Supertrap shuts down ***
Batman: All your computer systems use WayneTech chips, D’uh!
*** Superman catches Lex ***
*** Lex begins to weep ***
“Clark?”
“Yeah, Bruce?”
“We’re hetero, right?”
“Yup”
“But we’re gay for each other?”
“I wouldn’t go THAT far, but kinda?”
“I’m so confused”
“Me too”
@Thebratdragon Well, yeah. In another portion of the multiverse, we’re married. 🦇🦸🏻♂️
“Hey, Bruce. Why the long face?”
“Well, my best friend is a Kryptonian alien with the kind of purity that makes Captain America look like an amoral monster, Clark, and I am not allowed to do what I really want to do because of him.”
“I’m your best friend?”
“That’s what you got from it?”
“I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND!”
“C’mon. Let me go.”
Lex: Behold! Pink Kryptonite!
Superman: … and?
Lex: Why isn’t it working? It’s supposed to make you fabulous and super interested in interior decoration!
Batman: Lex, in case you haven’t noticed …
Lex: What? You two? A thing???
Superman: Bromance
Batman: Yup
Lex: I don’t even know why I try anymore
“Clark?”
“What’s up, Bruce?”
“What happened with the coffee maker?”
“Uhm. I sneezed in front of it.”
“So … no coffee?”
“I guess?”
“…”
“Don’t look at me that way. I’ll get you a new one.”
“You better, or it’s the red kryptonite for you.”
“Bruce? Is that a lead lined compartment on your belt? What for?”
“Trust, Clark.Trust.”
Client Info
Server: https://mastodon.social
Version: 2025.07
Repository: https://github.com/cyevgeniy/lmst