ketamine and forgetting everything that happened after 2015

hey i logged off for two days did anything irreversible and life changing happen

why? why shouldn’t i be allowed to have a sleeve of thin mints in my dresser drawer?

have you or a loved one been perceived without your consent? you may be entitled to compensation

folks you should smoke a bowl and put on a lotr extended edition tonight because none of these ghouls on either side of the aisle deserve your time or attention

we now go live to the state of the union

every app should have to pay me one dollar for every notification they send me

every time i try to come on here and post funny stuff and i’m confronted with the fact that everything is terrible everywhere all the time always

there should be an app with a big red button and if enough people press the big red button an extremely loud incorrect buzzer plays in the white house

smoking that shit that makes you mournful for the state of this country and the people within it

i lost my father in the first vape wars

knotts berry farm? ok well then what kind of farm is it cause i drove like 4 hours to get here

hi sharks i’m here today seeking $47 million for a 2% stake in my invention “tater tots that kill you”

installing one of those inverted gerbil water bottles on my bedroom wall for night sips

fruits are generally reasonable but there are a number of vegetables i do not trust

there should be an uber for people who will come and run you over

a new girl scout cookie varietal has just hit the pantry

who the hell is dow jones

betty orecchiette is a beautiful girl’s name

sleepmogging this website by going to bed at a reasonable hour