Sara Golemon

PHP 7.2 and 8.0 Release Manager.
PHP Foundation Board.
All around good Gnome.
Certified neurologically damaged by 3 out of 4 psychologists.

Non-PHP toots happen at @saramg, for everything else you're in the right place.

2026-02-03

PHP Alive & Kicking Episode 20 with ME in about half an hour. youtube.com/live/ob2puq3Di4s

We're gonna talk git worktrees and... I dunno (genuinely, I dunno) probably some other stuff because how do you stretch that out to an entire hour? Come join the PHP Architect discord and get in the chat. discord.gg/kawf7MZ

2026-02-03

Right; Officially going to be at PHP UK Conference now: phpconference.co.uk/speaker/sa 15:30 in the "Fleet" room.

Also looking forward to seeing peeps at the pre-conf meetup: meetup.com/phplondon/events/31

Not bought your ticket yet? Have 10% off with code "PHPUK26" at phpconference.co.uk/tickets

2026-02-03

@sebastian Oh my god. Don't tempt me. Fortunately, my uniform and poms are in Lisbon atm, and I am somewhere north of London. It would be such a trolly reply though. :)

2026-02-03
"Agatha All Along" meme with the name "Brooke" overlaid where "Agatha" should be.

Honestly, a super low-effort meme, and I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry.
2026-02-03

@theshaunwalker Oh, I'm very familiar. I'm surrounded by nothing by neurodivergent people who HAVE TO catch them all. Not "might" catch them all, or "may" catch them all.

No. You GOTTA catch 'em all.

2026-02-03

@brooke Wait wait wait.... fuck all that name shit. (Well, one joke: "Viber". Like Vibe-Coding. **snicker**)

YOU'RE ACTUALLY DESCENDED FROM REAL WITCHES?!?!?!

2026-02-03

@brooke I would never inflict this surname on another innocent soul.

Fun fact: I'm literally the last of the California* Golemons, and this name can die with me, tbqh.

* There are some in Texas/Alabama, but largely have no ties with them ever since Grandpa cut off his dad's side of the family.

2026-02-03

@brooke I mean... if he's DTF....

2026-02-03

@brooke I would say "Don't encourage people to misspell my given name" (by adding an 's'), but they already do that.

I'm literally credited in one book as "Sarah Goteman"

2026-02-03

@bryanredeagle 🤦‍♀️ And yours are even phonetically *obvious*! How are people like this? If it were once in a while... hey, fat-finger mistakes happen, but MY GOD.

2026-02-03

Apropos of nothing, now seems like a fine moment to remind anyone who's forgotten, that my surname is spelled GOLEMON.

If you need a nemonic, because 7 letters is too many, or copy and paste is too difficult, may I offer: GO LEMON. These are both English words, which any native speaker of the language should be able to manage easily.

Now move along, ya little fruit.

2026-01-31

@bagder E_HUMBLE_BRAG

2026-01-21

@Crell Basically what I meant. There's not a *practical* reason to learn Pascal. hasn't been in a LONG time. The only possible reason it academic, and even that one stopped being relevant 20+ years ago.

2026-01-21

C'mon team! We're only down by like 125 votes!
Are you gonna let Python defeat the Elephpant over a measly 125 votes?
BE AGGRESSIVE!
B-E AGGRESSIVE!
GOOOOOOO HERD!!!!!!

hachyderm.io/@itworldcup/11592

A red, white, and black pom-pom being held aloft.
2026-01-21

@Crell Much as I have a special place in my heart for Pascal (the first non-BASIC language I learned, the one I *taught* as a high school student wanting to go into teaching, and my gateway drug to x86 Asm), I have to agree. Who even learns Pascal *academically anymore?

2026-01-20

@ee Well precisely. I don't want to have to choose between C and Bash. They're two great tastes that taste great together.

2026-01-20

RE: hachyderm.io/@itworldcup/11592

A fair number of surprises in the Round of 32 here.

In oarticular, Javascript getting ***spanked*** by Lua. I would have thought the JS Fangirls would have shown up there. Not at all surprised Rust is getting far more love than it deserves.

Curious to see how C vs Bash plays out. Two *very* different languages with very different use cases.

2026-01-20

@janl I'm just hamming it up.
Honestly, I'm really enjoying the weight loss and just need an excuse.

That said, it's still too fucking cold in Chicago. But I fly to Lisbon on Sunday, so maybe I take it with and do a photo there.

2026-01-20

@janl Fuck. I said this when PHP was two points down, now it's leading by one.

Fuck.

I am my own worst enemy.

2026-01-20

@foobarsoft No... quite... it seems to have already backfired on me.

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