@bigwil321 hello there self

Also, do one with dicks.

I suppose I’m in the minority but I always lick my knife when I’m done.
None of the other surgeons seem to do it.

Attention people of The West:

I think they are crumbling under the pressure. Maybe skip the fireworks? If only to save the Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources from losing the last shreds of their sanity.

There are two wolves inside me, and I’m STILL fuckin’ hungry.

Ways to help a writer:
-buy their book
-review their book
-draw fan art based on their book
-launch copies of their book into random wormholes
-gift them a cursed pen that periodically grows tentacles
-bribe a trio of sirens to sing about the book to passing sailors

@mattmaison Hahaha. It was my plan all along! PS they’ll still lose.

Remember to run your wood chipper often so it doesn't feel out of the ordinary when you do

Am I doing this right? Mastodon is bewildering. Hello fellow FODs! Your P1 convinced me to join Mastodon, a decision I may come to regret (or not?) Excuse me while I stumble around in confusion. Is this a toot? #introduction

I want a Dairy Queen blizzard

#NHL #Hockey #HNOM #StanleyCup #Oilers #LetsGoOilers #GoKingsGo #GKG @hockey

Man on imaginary motorcycle makes it EDM 2-0...

Whomst should I follow on Mastodon? Telleth me!

My son, enjoying #RetroGaming just the way it was meant to be: sitting way too close to a giant CRT while his dad warns him about burning out his eyeballs 😂

#Gaming #Nintendo #NintendoWii #CRTgaming

Slowly but surely journalists are finding their way to the Fediverse. These tech & digital media reporters are already active on Mastodon:

@couts — Wired

@caseynewton — Platformer

@mimsical — WSJ

@pierce — The Verge

@drewharwell — Washington Post

@harrymccracken — Fast Company

@jank0 — Lowpass

@joannastern — WSJ

@jr — Computerworld

@mathewi — Columbia Journalism Review

@stshank — CNET

@taylorlorenz — Washington Post

@willoremus — Washington Post

#FollowFriday #Journalists #Tech

Pro tip:
Put the vitamin on the back half of your tongue.
#Vitamin #Bacon #Weezer

Aww, the spices of my ancestors side by side!🥰😂

Mastodon now has over 10 million users! That is twice as many people as the population of Japan if only 5 million people lived in Japan. Incredible.

Shamelessly reposting this because it is hilarious, but the toot making the rounds didn't bother with adding alt text.

Via https://mastodon.world/@bkm/110047181266402602

how do you know if a meme is dank

I'm sick of city hall and the mayor ignoring our catgirl problem. EVERY DAY outside my home, catgirls dig through our trash and nobody does ANYTHING about it. "Human Services" department says it's not their problem, Animal Control won't even come out. At the absolute end of my wits.