Some Postprandial Stupid?

I just cannot: “Cheap cuts of meat are inexpensive.” - Thanks for the tip, Einstein.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/some-postprandial-stupid-70/

Great Headlines, Cont.

Chicago’s newest snowplow name ‘Abolish ICE,’ Mayor Brandon Johnson says I swear to Blog, I love Chicago. (Hat tip: Scissorhead Purplehead)

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/great-headlines-cont-7/

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News “...I do not think it means what you think it means."

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/news-that-will-drive-you-to-drink-2430/

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Gums?

Netflix officially dropped out of the bidding for Warner Brothers Discovery, and billionaire failson Gums Ellison now has to clear the final hurl with the feds (don’t worry, the check will clear)... "Of course, Netflix could have absorbed such a cost. It's a $400B company (well, before this deal, anyway) – double Disney! Paramount Skydance? They're worth $11B. Yes, they're paying almost exactly $100B more than they're worth for WBD.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/some-fries-with-your-stupid-gums/

Midday Palate Cleanser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tnu6zg3ey8 http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/midday-palate-cleanser-2711/

More From National Emergency Genius/Lawyer Ticktin

👀 So... the genius Floriduh Man behind the National Emergency gambit tried to blame Maduro before (now) blaming China, and maybe we now know why the 4th Reich kidnapped him.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/more-from-national-emergency-genius-lawyer-ticktin/

If The 4th Reich Can Call In Former First Lady Hillary Clinton…

...to talk about her husband and Epstein, I can hardly wait until we call in Mel —the Slovenian timeshare— er,  The First Shady to talk about Epstein. Republicans do not play chess, nor checkers, and I’m beginning to think Tiddly-Winks are beyond them, too. Anyway, this totally scans and made me laugh:

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/if-the-4th-reich-can-call-in-former-first-lady-hillary-clinton/

It’s not a bubble.

But somehow, OpenAI has now raised around $160 BILLION in funding. To put that into context, that’s about as much as all VC funding in the US in 2023, across every business.

https://techcrunch.com/2026/02/27/openai-raises-110b-in-one-of-the-largest-private-funding-rounds-in-history/

The Miracle of The Orange 🤡 Economy, Part Infinity

I don’t think any of us, with our lived experience doubt this: The core take-away from the top of the article: The core PPI, which excludes volatile food and energy prices, increased a seasonally adjusted 0.8%, more than the 0.6% gain in December and well ahead of the Dow Jones consensus estimate for 0.3%. On an all-items basis, headline PPI rose 0.5%, also above the forecast for 0.3% and 0.1 percentage point more than…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/the-miracle-of-the-orange-%f0%9f%a4%a1-economy-part-infinity-12/

The Future Is Here

Fancy Autocomplete enthusiast Mike ‘Payola' Allen at Axios’ morning email thingie reports (I changed the formatting as their idiosyncratic use of bullet points make it difficult to quote properly; I’ll probably continue doing this moving forward): "It was only a matter of time before a future-thinking CEO took the leap and replaced thousands of workers with AI, Axios' Dan Primack writes."

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/the-future-is-here-2/

Here’s Another Reason I’m Not Worried About A Declared National Emergency…

...The geniuses behind the plan: "Sources said President Trump has reviewed versions of the draft order and has had discussions with those involved with the effort. told ABC News that during the drafting of the order, he has been in contact with a number of MAGA figures including Michael Flynn, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, and Patrick Byrne, all who played roles in the aftermath of the 2020…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/27/heres-another-reason-im-not-worried-about-a-declared-national-emergency/

Bad Products, Design, Jobs, and Ideas, Cont.

That was not a bite, and I’ve seen more passionate kisses to a grandmother than that brushin’ o’ the lips. That poor bastard has a bad fookin’ job and he’s bad at it, too. (Hat tip: Scissorhead M Davis)

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/great-endorsements-cont/

@Tengrain which means when you move the change of address takes them a moth to process and activate.

@Tengrain It also means they know where trans people live, so they can catch them driving.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Readers from states of California, Colorado, Hawaii, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Vermont, and Washington, pay attention to this story, as we are all sent mail-in ballots automatically: "The U.S. Postal Service began piloting a cost-cutting plan in 2023 to remove the machines that sort and postmark mail from local offices and instead consolidate mail processing in regional centers.

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/news-that-will-drive-you-to-drink-2429/

Midday Palate Cleanser

Now do it with a flaming baton! (True Fact: I would watch any parade with a capybara majorette leading it. ) (Hat tip: Scissorhead Purplehead)

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/midday-palate-cleanser-2710/

BirdChan News: 4th Reich Better Than Russian Bots At Propaganda

The Nazi Bar. An account on BirdChan with nearly 300,000 followers is being run by the same jamoke in charge of the White House’s rapid response account: "A popular right-wing account that called a video depicting Barack and Michelle Obama as apes "a masterpiece" appears to be run by a White House staffer, according to records reviewed by WIRED."

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/birdchan-news-4th-reich-better-than-russian-bots-at-propaganda/

Fratsputin, er, Jared to the Rescue!

I know nothing about foreign policy, it’s not my wheelhouse as the kids say (do they still say that?), and neither does Jared Kushner. The Journos at NOTUS’ email thingie: "Final talks? U.S. negotiators Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner are set to meet with the Iranians in Geneva today for high-stakes talks. They are hoping to curb the country’s “nuclear ambitions” and find a diplomatic off-ramp to disbanding the massive armada now in…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/fratsputin-er-jared-to-the-rescue/

WTF Is It Now, Kansas?

Somewhere,Kansas Attorney General Kris Kobach is probably smiling: "Transgender Kansans are being informed on the eve of a new state law going into effect that their driver’s licenses will be considered invalid as of Thursday." “Please note that the Legislature did not include a grace period for updating credentials. That means that once the law is officially enacted, your current credentials will be invalid immediately, and you may be subject to…

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/wtf-is-it-now-kansas/

Here’s Some Stupid to Start Your Day

http://mockpaperscissors.com/2026/02/26/heres-some-stupid-to-start-your-day-482/